Blood tests showed my hormones in a state of flux and also a diminished egg reserve, but no cause was found.Despite the lowered egg count, I was told I still had some chance of having children in the future, and I was given medication to counteract the symptoms.
I added my blog link to my online dating profile with the proviso that I had nothing to lose, and ironically by publicly airing my not-so-pleasant experiences, I’ve found myself back in the dating land of the living.
While my change in thought process certainly wasn’t a sudden one, I gradually realised that while I can’t control infertility, there are other things I do have a choice about.
Long-term, infertility in itself doesn’t mean I can’t have a happy marriage and maybe one day buy a house with a big field out the back (that can house all the rescue animals! In the last year my focus has shifted to what I’d like to get out of life and I’ve set myself some goals such as running the Dublin City Marathon this year.
I was ashamed, embarrassed and angry – not just at myself, but also at the lack of discussion about infertility.
It felt like a subject that should only be discussed in a medical setting or deep in the confines of an online message board, and certainly not with a potential partner.