Generally, Catholic men who are seeking marriage have the luxury of choice: they can take a few years to play the field until they find a Catholic girl who really clicks, and then propose. The men can shop around for what they want, and even relatively socially inept Catholic guys often end up hitched to amazing Catholic women.
This is not such good news for the ladies — it means that even if you’re really attractive and outgoing, smart, friendly, and socially competent, you might still end up married to a very nice dweeb.
They lived a happy life of mutual accord and raised a large brood of holy children together.” Most of the Saints either weren’t married at all, or they reportedly had terrible husbands who they eventually converted though kindness and persevering prayer.
That’s not to say that you should look for a terrible husband so that you can be a living martyr in marriage – that would be dumb – but it is safe to say that marriage is not about being rewarded with the partner that you deserve. No, they won’t give you the ready made Catholic wedding of your dreams, there will probably be some conflict about your values, and you’ll likely have to be patient in bringing them into the Church.
That’s kind of the thing about God’s plans – if you tell Him in advance what the plan is and then sit there, waiting for Him to make it happen, it doesn’t always work so well. The “some day my prince will come” approach to Catholic marriage is based on a false understanding of how God’s plans work.
The tacit assumption is that if you’re virtuous and pure and you devote yourself to God then you deserve a good spouse and a good life. If you look at the lives of the Saints you won’t often find a biography that read: “She was pure and obedient and loving, praying often for her husband even before she met him, and then she found a wonderful Catholic man.
There are lots of guys out there, outside of the Catholic ghetto, and many of them are wonderful people. But it remains a beautiful vision, one in which imperfect people coming together in their imperfection are redeemed and made new.
, I found myself responding to his brief message in my inbox.
Monique offers some vague hopes and a lot of commiseration – but admits that she has the same problem, and doesn’t have a solution to it.
Which means that you end up stuck dating, and if you are a devout Catholic girl looking for a devout Catholic husband the odds are not in your favour.
Any reasonably eligible young Catholic man who wishes to get married will not find it all that hard to find a date for the straightforward reason that women significantly outnumber men in the Catholic dating scene.
So keep yourself pure and holy, and sooner or later that pure and holy guy will come and sweep you off you feet.” To make things worse, you will find an endless supply of personal testimonial stories from girls who followed this advice, and it worked! I can’t help but notice that almost all RCIA classes include people who are coming to receive religious instruction because they are not Christian – but they want to marry a Catholic.
They dated this great Christian boy that they met on Catholic and one day, in the adoration chapel, he got down on one knee and proposed that together they ask Jesus for permission to marry. One of the more common reasons that men convert is for the sake of their wife or their girlfriend.