Things are a bit different when one spouse wants to become separated and the other doesn’t.
The innocent new friend can be deposed by the other side’s lawyer (that is, asked questions that are taken under oath and recorded by a stenographer or even videotaped) and subpoenaed to testify at trial.
The purpose is to determine exactly when the relationship began, whether it is sexual, whether any marital property has been transferred to the new friend, such as by gift, how much money was spent on dating this person, and whether the spouse has said anything that could be used against him or her at trial.
Even if everything is on the up-and-up, the result is a lot of unnecessary aggravation and cost.
And while I think on some level we all understand this, I don’t see it put into practice as much as this general agreement should indicate.
The fact is we all come from different backgrounds.