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I know the storybooks tell us that it’s better to stay together.

But I think there are plenty of people who never should have gotten together to begin with.

The target of desire in the relationship is the woman. Her husband is not leaving and she is not letting him go (otherwise she wouldn’t need a triangle to cope). It doesn’t matter how negative wife and husband feel about each other, they are together.

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The point is a triangle happens when two married (or simply committed people) don’t fix their marriage.If the ‘other man’ gets attached he will inevitably at some point start needing more from the married woman. My heart goes out to him more than any one else in this arrangement because he is usually the one who gets disturbed first and has more to lose.He may start thinking about asking her to leave her husband. He could be thrown out of the triangle and the married couple could end up fixing their relationship, this could happen.The work needed is usually in the area of developing a better tolerance for love and intimacy by clearing out whatever fears and blockage the guy has in the way.Then he can go after a whole and available single woman. He’s the ‘other man’s’ competition, but not really.Instead, defensive stuff happens like distancing from each other or finding another lover to make up for what is not happening in the marriage.The problem is you can’t get a piece of what you need from one person and another piece from someone else and expect to have a stable and satisfying love life.In other instances his defenses are so thick he doesn’t read the signs at least consciously.Personally, I think most if not all married people know on some level if a spouse is cheating, but that’s just my belief.Let’s do one at a time starting with the ‘other man.’ He is definitely looking for love in the wrong place and with the wrong person.His superficial belief that he wants someone else’s woman for the convenience is a lie he defensively tells himself.

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