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After experiencing my own version of ‘Dates Gone Bad’, I thought it might be a good idea to come up with a list of qualifiers that could give a man some potential. Why do you think that you are allowed to tell me to be quiet? That is what I think about stopping for a nice dinner.” “Why are you so upset? Slick opened every door for me, refused to let me pay for anything, complimented my looks, my personality and my heart. He would say things to restaurant servers that were harsh and uncalled for. ” “Slick, I don’t think that you want to spend ten thousand dollars. A few days later when I asked again he told me that he does not have anyone else to spend money on and really wants to make Christmas great for my family. Before long the boxes started arriving at my house. I did not spend ten thousand dollars but I had a great time picking out just the right things for everyone. Everything was wrapped, ribboned and tagged from me and Slick. “Well, I paid for the stuff that I picked out at the outlet mall for myself so I figured that was my contribution to Christmas.” “Two shirts, tee shirts and socks! Neither of us are big drinkers but Cher got jilted by her date and needed a little confidence in a cup and in a conversation, so we split both.

We both traveled for our work, we both enjoyed cross country skiing, we both valued family; we both thought that we fit so well together.

No, they never want to have children but it is alright with them if a woman they date already does. I do not know if it has something to do with the female Black Widow Spider who first seduces the male, then mates, after which she kills and eats him for lunch. He was very knowledgeable about his product and extremely confident in his delivery. Ignoring any modern sales techniques, Jimmy did not bother to ask questions, provide room for discussion or even stop for air. He then reached over and picked up our .00 check. As I was walking away from the table, it occurred to me that on the outside chance I would ever see Jimmy again, he would have no idea who I am. I have never said anything about anything remotely suggesting that I had any concern over any part of any of him.

For the next thirty minutes they tried to convince us of a few things. Really, they are attracted to us for who we are not for what we could give them. All it takes is a couple of seconds of eye contact followed by her coy smile and there it is, saliva dripping down the side of his mouth. ’ The only difference between 2 and 42 the boys hiding place and a slight change in the dialogue. If any of the ‘Let’s talk’s were mutual, an email would arrive connecting the potential couple. I figure twenty five percent is not bad for a woman giving off a ‘hurry this up, I have to finish drinking my Gatorade and Miralax by ten’ vibe. Since I promised myself to do everything that I can to learn how to date again, I am willing to try all avenues. I have no idea what I can possibly say in six minutes that would make someone want to hear more. Women want to help, love, even rescue men who have lost their wives but men are deathly afraid of widows. I felt like I was a guest at a multi level marketing conference. Like Ron Popeil pedaling the Pocket Fisherman, Jimmy was selling hard. I told him that he did not even buy her a drink so I did not think she would want to play. I have no interest in his anatomy, especially anything that is not visible when he is fully clothed.

The silence lingered for the first twenty minutes of the two hour drive home. I’ll tell you what I think about stopping for a nice dinner. First, if a man is in his early 50’s and never been married, he probably has some issues. Second, if he has money it is probably because he has never spent a dime. As flooding is happening all over the country this spring, it seemed that my internal well was dry*. Put those two things together and a dry spell is bound to happen. I was minding my own business, going about my work of trying to save the world, when a Haitian god, sculpted like Hercules, with a handsome chiseled face, eyes that find your soul, and luscious lips that turn into a smile that could melt the heart of Sister Mary Elephant walked into the room. Me, the one with the really bad hair in the 100 degree high humidity weather that does not allow for even the slightest bit of make-up to stay on my melted face. In this deep, husky, breathy reply, he said, “Merci.” Oh my, not only does he have a voice that would hypnotize even the strongest minds but he speaks French, the language of love! If they believe you to be the third assumption then intimidation supersedes attraction. “I help poor children.” Can you say Angelina Jolie? Jimmy is also an excellent businessman, father, boater, water skier, snow skier, and football player. Jimmy prattled on and on and on about his seemingly favorite subject: Jimmy.

” “What do I think about stopping for a nice dinner? *Disclaimers: I have spent a several weeks in Haiti over the last couple of months working not looking and due to a poor choice at the hairdressers (mine not hers) I have not had many good hair days lately. Men, on the other hand, assume a woman who is self employed cleans houses, stuffs envelopes after purchasing a book on how to make a lot of money in a just a few hours a week while staying in the comfort of your own home, or they are a battle-ax. has changed over the years becoming a place to work out all muscle groups including the love muscle.) Reminding me a lot of the first-person talker from a Seinfeld episode, Jimmy asked if he could join us in our booth. He is an excellent golfer and an excellent racquetball player. She said, “I golf.” Little did she know, that statement was just fodder for more Jimmy on Jimmy.


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