I say don’t worry about any of that and just be yourself.
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There have been a couple of women, but nothing with any promise. I actually believed anyone should be thrilled to have someone love them to the degree I love. I will consider any advice you provide as long as it doesn't mean I have to go out and try to talk to someone. One of the big issues is I am terribly shy and these new women scare the hell out of me. Once I start drinking, I don't quit until the fat lady sings...wait, that would probably be me!! I can’t tell you you’re going to be able to meet someone without actually putting some effort in.
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If you do meet someone online, eventually you will probably want to meet her in person, but hopefully by that time you will have emailed and talked to her on the phone enough that a face-to-face encounter won’t scare you to death!
Letting others know you’re open to meeting new people is a great way to get introduced.
Since you are shy, don’t have your friends “set you up,” rather, have them invite you over for dinner, to a movie or some other social activity you might enjoy with one or two single friends. Also, you talk about your concern of all the roles of butch, femme and what they mean.
You’ve written to me, so I can only assume you are ready to make some changes in your life.
So here goes: The good news is, unlike 1980, we now have the Internet as an option for dating.