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Eff my dating life

I was ready for it and believed that the rest of my life would fade into the background, and that my big moment would carry me through life like a lifeboat. Some people have them, in a sense, when they win the Heisman or become the next American Idol.

But even that football player or that singer is living a life made up of more than that one moment.

I have always wanted this movie-worthy event, something that will change everything and grab me out of this waiting game into the whirlwind in front of me.

I cry and cry at these movies, because I am still waiting for my own big moment.

That big moment represented and rested on a foundation of moments that had come before it.

I believe that if we cultivate a true attention, a deep ability to see what has been there all along, we will find worlds within us and between us, dreams and stories and memories spilling over. The life you’ve been waiting for is happening all around you. Every day you put off your life makes you less capable of living it.” ― Ann Brashares, “Wait. After Tersa told me you were coming, I spent seven hundred years searching for you[....] I never gave a damn what you looked like--tall, short, fat, thin, plain, beautiful, ugly. The flesh was the shell that housed the glory[....] Even if I couldn't be your physical lover, there are other ways to be a lover and I know them all.

Ok Cupid announced this week that it would scrap all of the usernames on its site and require prospective daters to use their real names instead.

You and your family and your friends and your house and your dinner table and your garage have all the makings of a life of epic proportions, a story for the ages. When in doubt, do nothing, but continue to wait on God. I don't know if doing that would heal me or make my heart break entirely, but either way this constant hungry waiting would be over.” ― Ally Condie, “believe that this way of living, this focus on the present, the daily, the tangible, this intense concentration not on the news headlines but on the flowers growing in your own garden, the children growing in your own home, this way of living has the potential to open up the heavens, to yield a glittering handful of diamonds where a second ago there was coal.This way of living and noticing and building and crafting can crack through the movie sets and soundtracks that keep us waiting for our own life stories to begin, and set us free to observe the lives we have been creating all along without ever realizing it. I choose to believe that there is nothing more sacred or profound than this day.That’s the drama of life, swirling all around us, and generally I don’t even see it, because I’m too busy waiting to become whatever it is I think I am about to become.The big moments are in every hour, every conversation, every meal, every meeting. He knows that his big moment was not when they gave him the trophy.I had visions of life as an adventure, a thing to be celebrated and experienced, but all I was doing was going to work and coming home, and that wasn’t what it looked like in the movies.John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” For me, life is what was happening while I was busy waiting for my big moment.When my friends were short I pretended that I was short too and if my friend was sad I pretended to be unhappy.I could go on and on about all the ways I have limited myself, my whole life, by "waiting" for people.It was the thousand times he went to practice instead of going back to bed.It was the miles run on rainy days, the healthy meals when a burger sounded like heaven.

71 comments

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